non-negotiable

When I was a kid my dad's favorite dadism was " it's non-negotiable". We all hated it, but he'd pull that little gem out at least once a week. Want to go outside? Are you're chores done? No? Non-Negotiable. Want to stay out past your curfew? Non-negotiable. Don't feel like doing dishes tonight? Non-negotiable. And so it went. Non-negotiable was the law in our house, and once we figured out dad meant what he said, there were no arguments. Sometimes, if you really wanted something that you knew would fall under the non-negotiable rule, you'd try the fast-talk move. Everything you said would be one run-on sentence, just so you could get it out before the hammer fell. The warning signs? Well, if we were being very unrealistic, it would start with a faint pulse at dad's temple. As we'd really get rolling, dad's face would get an unhealthy shade of red, followed by the "dad vein" popping out on his forehead. By then, we're already in to deep - we couldn't just stop. Thats when dad would let out a mighty roar and say "I said NO! It's NON-NEGOTIABLE - Stop talking!!!" Afterwards, we'd slink off, not even daring to mumble under our breath.

I was forced to remember non-negotiable after a very harrowing week with my boys. As a kid, I swore I'd never utter those dreaded words to my children, yet utter them I did. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect certain things of my children. I know they have expectations of me, and heaven forbid I don't live up to them. Here's an example or two. When I say don't jump on the couch, I really would like it if the couch did not get jumped on. Do I ask too much? Apparently I do, because every day, at least 5 times a day I am telling my 4-year old not to jump on the couch. Now I have a couch with flattened cushions and broken springs. So, I finally did it - I've declared not jumping on the couch to be non-negotiable. Does my 4-year old know what that means? Probably not, but if my red face and twitching left eye is any indication, perhaps he will figure it out. Example #2. The house rule is no video games during the week. I do not think that is torture, or even punishment. But at least once every other day, Connor is sitting infront of the X-Box, or his PSP. When confronted, Connor claims he thought I was kidding about that rule. This week the excuse was, it's his birthday week. Umm...No. Finally, I declared the no video game during the week rule, you guessed it - non-negotiable! Take that!!

So, it would seem I am following in my parents footsteps. This is not the first time I've caught myself doing/saying something I swore I'd never do/say to my kids. Pardon me while I swallow that big lump in my throat, also known as my pride, while I admit that maybe my parents did know a thing or two. And maybe, just maybe, they weren't trying to ruin my life. Good grief - please don't tell them I said that.